" Total bollocks"

 "Total Bollocks"

Week 3 done. Within sight of the finishing line, when we were promised a return to our regional tiers. Huh. Another broken promise. Lockdown is to continue after all. Yes, England will return to tiers but not as we knew it. 

Instead of our relatively relaxed tier 1, as befitted our low level of infection, here we join the majority of England in the restrictive tier 2. The only small mercy is that we are not in tier 3. 

It is, as one MP angrily declared on bbc radio 4 today, " total bollocks".

So from now on my life looks like this:

                            

I have made it through the November lockdown day by day, week by week. My family have stuck to the rules only to be slapped in the face by a corrupt, inefficient, dishonest Government who changed the goalposts yet again. 

Judging by the headlines the prevailing mood of the country is anger. This month has been full of rumours followed by leaks so deep they could fill a reservoir but this new lockdown light was hidden behind the smokescreen of the Christmas rules.

Little did we know when Boris offered us his Xmas cheer that his 5 day window to see up to 3 households was not as generous as it seemed, given it is now the only time we can meet inside this year. 

" Tis the season to be jolly...careful" declared the PM as he tried and failed to walk and talk the tightrope of festive joy and pandemic woes. 

The nations media was still generically working out the confusing rhetoric and rules around this 5 day "three household exclusive" bubble relaxation  in the calm equilibrium of expectation that the majority of the country would still be able to meet indoors in the rule of 6 in tier 1 when we found out that to do this we had to continue in a new variety of non lockdown.

Heartbreaking decisions need to be made. We are a large extended family and I have to face the fact that we cannot see everyone.  "Total bollocks" 

That has still to be faced.  I cannot bear it. I have managed another week of 1 on 1 walks, thank god for friends. I have  more planned next week because this and the company of my husband and daughter in our household bubble has saved my sanity.  

Now I must adjust to tier 2 . Rule of 6 outside socially distanced. No indoor household mixing/ There has been much emphasis on the social distance even outside. My grandchildren range from 6 to 14 months, enough said.

There is a growing surge of resentment in Parliament. A backbench revolt is planned for the vote on all the above next week. Labour, who have pledged to back the Government on Covid rules, are hesitating. The curb on our civil liberties is surreal. 

Sir Desmond Swayne, MP  for the new forest, challenged the PM with "The last ruler that told us how we may or may not celebrate Christmas was Oliver Cromwell. It didn’t end well, did it"

The suicide rate has shot up in the UK. Reports on loneliness show a horrifying level of despair across class, race, economics, generations. Businesses are in crisis. 

I no longer talk about the pandemic. I talk endlessly about the crazy bizarre parody of everyday life I am living. 

In the spring I thought the world had turned upside down. Now I simply don't know which way it was to start with anymore. 

 

 

 

Week 2 of non Lockdown

 Week 2 of non Lockdown

Long nights, bleak grey days.  Leaks to media of further weeks of tough restrictions. Rumours of a Christmas release for a five day feast followed by the fast of January and February lockdown are meet with universal despair.

There is little of note beyond I am not yet mad. Unless its 'mad' as in angry, in which case yes, I m mad beyond fury. It is the anger which is keeping me afloat above the mire of depression.

Partner walks with friends are keeping me sane. Everyone is sad but sadness shared lifts the spirits. This week I have walked every day with a different friend, tramping through mud, braving the wind and rain. If nothing else 2020 has shown me the value of true friends as well as my beloved family 

I walk in silence, I walk and talk, I walk with headphones. The world around me echoes through my ears. We live in interesting times. My life may be boring but the news has never been so dynamic. 

This was the week that finally did for Dominic Cummings . The master strategist brought down by the mistress. The heady days of the rose garden press conference . when nothing it seemed could ever part Dominic from Boris, replaced by the winter of his discontent.

Did he go or was he pushed? I doubt we will ever know. What is known is that the cabal of two,  he and Lee Cain, i.e. Brexit engineers in chief and most senior Gov advisors,  cabal of two, were deemed guilty of plotting against Bojo's fiance, Carrie Symonds, and his new media  spokesperson Allegra Stratton 

This combined with weeks of negative headlines and Boris finally decided on a much needed fresh team. Hurrah for the women.  Never underestimate a strong feminist, Dominic.  Good riddance to bad rubbish was the universal response. 

However the PMs brave new dawn hardly broke through our collective gloom. Boris was suddenly forced to field his  'reset' from the sidelines due to self isolation after a COVID positive contact. Not exactly an auspicious start. 

All rather comical as Sir Kier Starmer found himself arguing with a virtual PM during PMQs.  Maybe the PM was grateful not to be sitting opposite the incandescent rage of Sir Kier in full rant,  lambasting the disembodied PM for the latest truly disgraceful report revealing just how many billions of taxpayers money was wasted yet again lining the pockets of the rich, famous and friends of the Tory party. 

Boris defends the indefensible: 

Ministers set up a VIP fast-track channel to buy billions of pounds of PPE from companies who had political contacts with the government and MPs, a damning report reveals today. 

The Times did not mince its words. 

It says much about the cynicism of the UK public at the end of 2020 that even those politically engaged people like myself barely raised an eyebrow and it didn't come up in my walkie talkie partner walks with likeminded friends. We've come to expect corruption nowadays. 

Nor do we really believe anything we are told any more. Vaccines delivered by Xmas from an organisation who could not supply enough flu jabs for the elderly and vulnerable, let alone the over 50s urged to get a free one by a Government campaign early in the year. I don't reckon I ll be seeing one of those anytime soon. If there have been any press conferences this week I have not bothered to tune in.

Steve Bell in The Guardian summing up beautifully.

In America Trump continues to deny defeat to the bemusement of the rest of the world. You could not make it up. Unbelievable. But all too true.  He drives round giving the thumbs up to his supporters insisting his victory was stolen by election fraud. He stirs up conspiracy theories. Biden has his hands tied, unable to begin transition policies. The world watches with increasing anxiety at the real possibility of civil war.

As I write Trump piles on legal writ after legal writ. Boris announces policy after policy to distract from his complete incompetence. Today he insists on keeping his Home Secretary Pritti Patel despite a report finding her guilty of bullying. His loyal Brexit, despite a history of bribe taking, bad behaviour and incompetence, stays by his side. Seriously?  Hard to judge Trump too harshly. 

Stevel Bell yet again. 

Yet another professional senior advisor, the author of the aforementioned report, resigns. The nation takes another collective sigh of disbelief and wonders what to have for supper. 

No one mentions Christmas. 

Week 1 of 'non' lockdown

 Week 1 of 'non' lockdown

Officially, this is not a lockdown. It is a 4 week period of 'tough new restrictions' , England wide. Hardly a surprise to discover this bizarre four week period has a indistinct label  😕😠

Week 1 is over. 7 days of getting on and getting through. There are shafts of light, breakthrough news of an embryonic new vaccine and, yay,  the beginning of the end of Trump s era in the USA. 

Whilst for much of the country life carries on as normal, I and many like me grieve for more missed time with our grandchildren. The broken hearted cry silent tears of sorrow and isolation. Unlike the spring there is no sense of unity now. 

The country is split many ways, poor and rich, alone and together, and, vitally, those who stick to the rules and those who break them. I absolutely truly understand why people bend the restrictions, these laws are laughable, but it breaks my heart more to see them being treated with such contempt when  my week is empty due to my compliance.

Fortunately I have my social bubble of husband and daughter to keep me afloat.  Its not been an easy week for them either, this week 1, with Lewes Bonfire, the highlight of their social calendar, cancelled. 

Lewes was a ghost town shrouded in mists of mourning on November 5th. Annie and  Paul and I marked the night with their usual ritual of chilli and sparklers anyway  plus a walk on the hills to admire a multitude of  fireworks from gardens across the town. A 2020 'not the same but better than nothing' moment. 

In fairness , for me, for once, this was better than the usual 😁 I don't like crowds or fire so Lewes Bonfire holds little attraction. I 've managed to see the procession once in the 30 years we have lived here. Beyond amazing and I m glad to have seen it but once was enough.

My eldest son has brought his family up in the firework tradition , although in his case its one of blowing up everything in his garden. He triumphed in the  2020 pattern of inventiveness as his superb technology skills gave us a firework family zoom evening.  A truly good show enjoyed by one and all, including his near miss with the exploding rocket 💥 

Whilst watching clutching my granddaughters warm hands in mine cannot be duplicated,  no smell, no taste of burnt marshmallows, yet this was an extra special evening after all. The effort involved to make this work drew the family together, an unspoken bond to get through this by whatever means necessary. 

It is a surreal non lockdown. The streets are humming with life. Schoolchildren throng the town. The playgrounds are heaving. The question of how little too late plays on everyone's lips. Those of us who have had our life silenced again watch on in envy those whose lives continue as normal.

This much shared post on Facebook demonstrated the frustration shared by so many business owners and reflected the confusion shared by so many shoppers. 

News to be thankful for:

Two shafts of light brighten this bleak, dark, November week.

1. Thank God.  Joe Biden has won the US Presidency. Trump is still refusing to concede so weeks, even months,  of legal wrangling lie ahead but America and the world has recognised Biden as President Elect. 

It took days of nerve wrenching waiting after the election date on Nov 3rd for this momentous decision to be called. Early results terrifyingly showed Trump in the lead but painstakingly, state after state, especially with mail in voting , predominately preferred by democrats, came good and the final tally swung in the democrats favour. 

Whilst Biden endeared  himself to everyone by his calm patience and 'elder statesman' persona during this long wait Trump played golf and fired off increasingly wild twitter posts. 

It is great news that Trump's four years of right wing /climate denying/racist/sexist policies are over yet I find it sad so many Americans voted for him still. It is hard for me to know why. All I can say is we have Boris Johnson/Brexit so I guess is equally hard for the EU to understand this. I can hardly believe it myself. 

2. One of the multitude of vaccines in escalated  development has shown spectacularly good results.  The news from Pfizer/Bionetic in the USA had been held back until after the US election as it offer promise that a safe synthetic vaccine is closer than the world dared hope. 

Needless to say, it is just that, a promise. There is much water to flow under many bridges before our world is righted.

Three more weeks to go:

I cannot think as far ahead or as far back in imagining the world as it was before.

November is about getting through, one day at a time. 

Three more weeks. I hope 🤞

 

Lockdown (ish) looms

 Lockdown (ish) looms

England is to go into another lockdown (ish) from tomorrow, Thursday November 5th.  Officially 4 weeks. Possibly. Maybe. Depends on who you believe. Discontent and discord rule. 

Yet again everything that fills me with joy is to be forbidden. No household mixing. No meeting friends. No seeing my grandchildren, no walking groups, no long coffees putting the world to rights. No visits to my Norfolk cottage. Long endless empty days. Again.

Luckily I will not miss the gym or the cinema as I had not yet re-embraced them, nor the pubs or the restaurants. But it is November. Wet, dark, cold, grim. 

This is supposed to be for Xmas but no MP will commit to anything like a normal Xmas. 

It is supposed to be following the science but every scientist from every camp has made the same point. Too little, too late.

Too little as this is a light touch lockdown by anyone's standards. Schools, colleges and universities stay open. Public transport runs. Playgrounds stay open, estate agents continue as normal, and whilst non essential shops are supposed to close the rules are flexible, elastic and frankly bizarre.

Macdonalds making sure your essential nutrients are still available...

I cannot go to Norfolk, visits to second homes are banned. Despite the fact that I can legally travel by train to lecture at the university in Norwich and then I have to stay in a hotel. Ludicrous.

Dissent echoes in the Commons, in private homes, in cities and across the country.  Revolt among back bench Tories, whilst not enough to stop this passing, shows how strong anti-lockdown light sentiment is. 

Everyone I know feels it should have been either a proper lockdown or England should have continued with the tier system, give it time to work. 

When early warning of this impending lockdown was leaked on Friday night to headline Saturday's papers , thus ruining everyone's weekend, there was immediate anger from all quarters that yet again the Prime Minister has sought to circumvent debate in the House of Commons. 

Boris Johnson insists the leak was not from No 10 given the speaker had previously issued strict instruction to Government to talk to Parliament before any announcement.  Well, he would, wouldn't he, is the phrase that comes to mind.

His self appointed presidential style has backfired yet again as whilst the synopsis of this plan was revealed early, substance was so vague Cabinet Ministers have been 'misspeaking' every since.

As the country plunges yet again into darkness the Chancellor reintroduces furlough through gritted teeth. fixed smile failing to raise above a grimace. Nightmare on Downing Street.

The UK media distracts us by the freak show of USA election night. Yesterday. Knife edge decision resting on key states with Trump insisting he will contest any result which causes him to leave the White House. 

Me, I can barely watch the ghastly spectacle of millions of Americans voting for another term for Donald Trump. 

I am lost in a strange alien landscape, disorientated, depressed, beyond making sense of anything.